Frankenstein Barbie and the Block Party!

"So glad you could make it!" a woman in a sparkly, pink dress squealed as she made her way over to Jim and I. Who the hell is that horrifying woman? I had never seen her before in my life, and I was frankly pretty thankful for that. She wore too much makeup and appeared to have flat ironed her hair one too many times. Jim looked her up and down and a smile stretched across his face: "Boy am I glad I could make it too."
Oh, barf. The scary Stepford Wife woman giggled and blushed a little. Well, I am assuming she blushed- I wouldn't actually be able to tell through all that shit on her face. So there I was at this ridiculous block party, standing next to my asshole husband while he flirted with a woman who looked like Frankenstein Barbie. I was too old to join the teenagers inside the skating rink- they were all drinking and throwing up hormones and angst all over the place. I saw Brooke Adams stumble out of the doors, holding onto some boy her age. Funny- I always thought Brooke was a good kid. She was holding a DeerPark water bottle, trying to fool the rest of the adult party goers, but I knew that was not water. If there was anything I learned in my teen years, it was that anyone under the age of 21 drinking water at a gathering, is fooling you. It kind of made me smile. They reminded me of Jim and I at that age- drunk, laughing, and happy. I guess some things change. I snapped out of my stroll down memory lane and my mind jumped back to Jim.
"HAH you are soooo funny, Jim!" barked out Frankenstein barbie. Jim was proud of himself, I could tell. This was his way of regaining control. He did this whenever he sensed that I was getting fed up or working up the nerve to say something about how much better of a man I could have. This woman was his "Fuck you, look what I can do. And you are not even going to say a word." He was right. I wasn't going to say anything. It just didn't seem worth it.
"Jim... would you mind if I went over to-"
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." He didn't take his lustful eyes off of the woman as he brushed me off. Frankenstein shot me a dirty look as if I was flirting with her husband. You can have him, honey...
I didn't know where to go, but I was NOT about to sit around and wait for Jim and Botox Barbie to slyly "go discuss something personal" in a more "private place". Discuss something personal my ass. Or...well... her ass, I guess you could say. Like I said, I was about ten years to old to join in skating rink portion of the party, but I also felt a bit too young to join in with the other adults. Or maybe I didn't feel to young as much as too tired. I decided to stroll over to the refreshment table and attempt to not look lonely. For about ten minutes, I stood there staring at the lemonade. God, this is like my senior prom. Just without the DeerPark water bottle... 
All of the sudden, someone slammed into me from behind.
"Oh shit! God, i'm so sorry!" I now had lemonade all down the front of my shirt.
"Oh, um... It's alright..." I said. Grasping for the napkins at the table. I knew Jim was going to be pissed that I had spilled something on myself. He always was loosing his temper for little things like that.
"Here, let me help you..." said the woman. I looked up to notice her short, blonde hair and leather jacket. She took my hand and began leading me somewhere. I was a bit flustered, but I followed. She pulled me through the doors of the skating rink and towards the back. I noticed Brooke again, leaning up against the back wall with that same boy. Her hair was ruffled and make-up was smeared around her eyes and lips.
"OH HEYYY THERRRE ALLISON! THAT'S IS YOUURRR NAMEEE IS RIGHT?" Brook slurred as we moved past. Close enough... 
The woman moved into the bathroom and pulled me in after her. Pulling paper towels from the dispenser, she apologized again for my ruined shirt.
"It's really okay..." I assured her, taking the paper towels she handed me.
"My name is Missy!" she said with a smile. I didn't really know what to say so I just continued to wipe my shirt with no result.
"And your name is....Allison?" She put on her best drunken face and giggled. I laughed too. It felt nice to laugh.
"Um...well, it's actually Alice."
"Sorry about your shirt, Alice. It's really my fault..."
"No no! It's really fine. I promise."
It was quiet for a sec. I looked around only to wonder why we were still standing in this bathroom. It was dark and the sink had an annoying drip. For some reason though, I didn't feel like going back out there. I then realized Missy was looking at me with a questioning smile. I didn't know what to say.
"Well... thanks for the help. I should really get back out to my husband." finally made it's way out of my mouth.
"Oh, your husband?"
"Yes...my husband. Isn't your husband here too?"
She silently looked at me, and appeared to be holding back a smile. I was confused.
"No...I'm a lesbian." she said laughing. Now I was very confused.
"But...you are always with Talus. That's his name, right? I always see you two together when you leave the apartment."
"Oh! Well, he is my room mate, you see."
"Oh.... That's nice. I think I should go..." I decided aloud. I left the bathroom and headed back outside. I didn't even bother to look back at Missy or Brooke or anyone for that matter. I wanted to go home. I walked out the doors of the skating rink and into the world of the petty adults' party. The sound of laughing filled my ears and it pissed me off. This whole thing was ridiculous and fake and I hated it. As I made my way up to Jim, I saw his eyes scroll down to the huge stain on my shirt.
"What the hell is that?" he said accusingly.
"It's just... I'm sorry. Can we please leave?"
"Alice, this is why I do not leave the house with you. You are always doing stupid shit like this, and it makes me look bad. Why would you do this to me?"
"Jim, I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"
Suddenly, I heard a voice from behind me: "It was my fault."
"Who the hell are you?" said Jim with a puzzled look.
"I'm Missy", she said, sticking out her arm for a handshake. Her request went denied.
"We're leaving", Jim demanded as he turned to go.
"Goodbye, Alice." Missy said handing me yet another paper towel. She walked away and disappeared within the crowd of  people. I looked down at the towel.


Meet me at the coffee house tomorrow at nine. Promise I won't spill any drinks on you this time :)


Um... shit. 

Awakening

I dreamt of the homeless man last night. It was one of those dreams where you can only see it- like the audio gotten lost along the way or something. We were sitting at this round table. He had his hands sticking out towards me and his eyes were that same, blank fog. I wasn't frightened though. It seemed to be a calm, controlled, almost relaxing conversation. And when I awoke, I felt so...light. I wish I knew what he was saying to me.

I sat by the window looking down at the crowd of people who surrounded the coffee shop. The sun had just come up and Jim would be stumbling out of bed soon. Normally, I would wait in bed and pretend to be asleep. He would then put his slimy fingers all over me before a cigarette and a slam of a door. Today felt different though. It didn't matter what Jim did. There was nothing he could do.

I heard a grumble and a few heavy footsteps. Jim appeared in the doorstep with his usual stained, white shirt and greasy hair, but now sporting a puzzled look. Well hello sleeping beauty... I turned my head to look at him, paused, and turned back towards the window. He didn't say anything- not one single word. The first time I had left that man's bed without his permission in ten years of marriage, and he was speechless.

"What's the problem, Jim?" I asked, finally breaking his silence.

A look of anger came across his face. It was a look I was too familiar with. But today the look of anger did not turn into a fist or yelling. Instead, he simply grabbed his coat in a frustrated panic and stormed out the door.  Confused, I looked out the window again and saw Jim leaving the apartment complex. He wasn't walking the direction of his work. I watched closely as he made his way through the fog and passed the crowd outside of the coffee shop. When he finally stopped walking he bent down onto his knees, right in the middle of the sidewalk. I squinted my eyes trying to somehow see what he was doing. Suddenly, I could see another figure through the fog. Jim was leaning down to talk to someone.

The homeless man.

He whispered something into the man's ear and then stood up, looked back up into the direction of our apartment window, and walked behind the pawn shop and out of view.

What the hell is going on?

A Wake Up Call

I decided to take a walk. Jim had left for work and the house was empty and quiet. Broken glass was still sprawled across the floor and the air felt almost as if it was suffocating me. I thought maybe if I made it out of the house, I could escape my brain for a little while. I grabbed my sweater and headed out the apartment. The doorman turned away as he spotted me walking towards the door. He always did that.
"Hello." I attempted.
"Oh, uh... Hey, miss." he said as if I couldn't see right through him- or as if he couldn't see right through me. But I guess it didn't matter what we could see anyways.
I stepped out of the building and took a deep breath. I had no idea where I was going, and to be quite honest I didn't give a shit. I was tired; tired of this town, this life, this feeling of absolute nothing that seemed to be choking me. I was tired of Jim's breath, and his voice, and his damn whispers. I was tired of his hands, his cigarettes, and I was sick of his bed. And let me tell you... I was sick of complaining about it.
After walking aimlessly for an hour or so, I headed back to the apartment. As I was about to face that asshole doorman, I heard something strange- REM's "Everybody Hurts". You have got to be kidding me. I rolled my eyes at what ever gods were trying to rub my petty misery in. But then I heard something else.
"Riddles -- all you can say are riddles, murk and darkness." It was the old man who sat there everyday. For years, I had seen him out my window. I had passed by but never even stopped to listen to him. For some reason, he had me pulled me in today. I slowly walked over, inspecting him. Each time someone dropped a coin into his bowl, he said a different line. For reasons I could not understand, I was lingering on each word so I continued to drop in coins.
CLINK
 "I have already. The truth with all its power lies inside me."
Power?
CLINK
"What will come will come. Even if I shroud it all in silence."
No more silence...
CLINK
"True, it is not your fate to fall at my hands."
My fate?


I froze, processing every single thought that had just raced through my head. My hands began to shake and I couldn't take it all in. I shut my eyes as the sound around my ears turned into a dark tunnel. Things became louder and louder... silence fate power silence fate power silence fate power


Then all the sudden, from that sad, dusty cd player I heard Somewhere over the rainbow way up high...there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby...

It was in that very moment, that I knew what I had to do.

A New Day.

The day started with a ticking. It was the same ticking that started all of my days... and ended them too, i suppose. I rolled over, feeling the cheap mattress crunch under my weight. I could hear the faint snoring of Jim on my other side. Closing my eyes as tight as possible, I tried my hardest to squeeze every aspect of him out of my head. It wasn't working.

tik-tok. tik-tok. tik-tok.

As most nights, my eyes remained glued to the clock. I watched the minutes pass, praying they would do me a favor and move a little faster. Finally, it struck seven. I lay there in relief as Jim, without a word, grumbled and climbed out of bed. As usual, he made his way to the dresser, slipped into a pair of torn-up jeans, and pulled out a cigarette. Cigarette number one. The smell of smoke twisted and swirled around the room and made it's way to my nose. I cringed as his footsteps found their way to my side of the bed. Maybe if I just lay here, he'll go away. He sat down at the foot of the bed and I could feel his eyes set upon me. Just pretend to be asleep.

"Baby...", he whispered.

tik-tok. tik-tok. tik-tok.

"Alice." He tried again. I felt him reaching towards me. My skin began to crawl, as his rough hand brushed the hair from my face. I'm sleeping. I'm sleeping. I'm sleeping.

"Get up."

He leaned closer and the smell of stale whisky surrounded me. Giving in, I slowly opened my eyes to see him looking down at me.
"What the hell is that awful smell?" he demanded. You? I looked at him in silence.
"The only thing I ask from you is to clean this fucking place. You can't even do THAT right!" He got up and began pacing the room. I didn't know what to say or even what he was talking about. Jim kept flicking his cigarette onto the floor.

"Baby, I think it's coming from outside. I can't do anything about that...", I tried. He shot me a disapproving look and stormed off into the other room. I just sat there as he marched through the apartment, knocking things over and yelling. In what felt like forever, the front door slammed shut and all was calm yet again. My shoulders relaxed and I took a breathe.

I turned my head to glance around the empty apartment. 

tik-tok. tik-tok. tik-tok.

"It's alright, " I said to myself, "it's just another day."